


I Don't Want To Go

by Aarlauna_Rose



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-16
Updated: 2013-01-16
Packaged: 2017-11-25 18:55:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/641959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aarlauna_Rose/pseuds/Aarlauna_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once you told me, "I thought I was different". You were. You were brilliant.</p><p>Ten's final thoughts before his death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Want To Go

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate title: "Sorry For Vanishing, Here Have Some Feels"
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own Doctor Who.

It was the last stop, and the hardest. I almost didn't come. 

It was worth it, though- to see that smile that lights up your whole face, one last time. Even if you had no idea who I was, or why this daft man was asking you what year it was. Years ago, I might have said something, when the wound was new. I might have warned you about that day. But all I could see was you standing on that beach with him, and I knew that I would let you go one last time. But I'm a hypocrite, because a day doesn't go by that I wish I could go back and pull you from his arms.

Once you told me, “I thought I was different.” You were. You were brilliant. Since you've been away, I've met so many other people. And I loved them, but you were the one who took my hand when I was alone. You came back for me on Satellite Five and brought me back from the Time War with your stubbornness and love of life. Somehow, you always found a way to remind me that I was a better man. That was also the day you were afraid I'd leave you, and I did. That I would forget you- and I said that I wouldn't, but I was wrong about that, too. 

Because this new man, this new Doctor, will be someone entirely different. He won't walk past your room every morning, listening for you to start singing “Because We Want To”. He won't go to New Earth just to smell the apple grass, and he won't return to that bay on the same day every year, waiting. I can't keep my promise to you. Nothing will be left of you- the sound of your footsteps, the smell of chips, your laugh... The jacket you left behind will be thrown into a room, meaningless. Your memory will fade with me, and... 

“I don't want to go.” 

It's too late, far too late, but there must be something I can do. Some way to keep you alive when I'm gone.... Time. There's no time left. There's no stopping the regeneration. Something, something... The TARDIS. Like before, Emergency Program One. Just an image, nothing worthy of you, but it will remain... long after I'm gone... I'm sorry, Rose. I'm so sorry... 

 

 

 

The Doctor looked at his hand, shimmering with energy, as if just realizing what was going to happen. He turned towards the console with trembling fingers, willing his shifting body to work one last time. He fumbled with the controls, and when he could see her, standing beside him, he closed his eyes. The Doctor pressed the final button, and his Rose was immortalized in the TARDIS forever. Finally, he could let go.


End file.
